He makes me look graceful

I am a klutz. This is obvious to anyone who knows me for more than 0.0005 seconds. I have tripped over lines in the sidewalk, sprained my ankle falling off my own shoe, burnt my hand on the element inside the toaster oven, and just this morning I collided with a very pointy acrylic book display. I am a walking disaster.

But I pale in comparison to my wonderful, but jeopardy-friendly, husband. Here's what he just said to me.

Him: I am very talented.
Me: Yes you are. What did you do that was so wonderful?
Him: I am the only person who could be working at a worktable with not one, not two, but four knives... and cut myself open on the lid of a cat food can.
Me: You are a god among men, honey. And I am so blogging this.

For the record, he has also:

• Been hit by a car "five or six" times*,
• Ended up in the ER after walking though a glass door,
• Broken the same elbow twice by falling on the ice,
• Been clotheslined across the throat by barbed wire,
• Slipped down ice-covered stairs and concussed himself on a concrete slab,
• Had a second-degree sunburn,
• Had a stick shoved (far) up his nose while playing hide-and-seek,
• Been stung by a nest of hornets.

*FIVE OR SIX TIMES!!!!!