“No kids” doesn’t always mean “no grief”
Jul. 26th, 2010 06:13 pmI recently got into a friendly debate about feminism, children, and how women these days are free to decide whether or not they want children. The OP mentioned in her journal that it's no longer an issue for women in 2010. I have to disagree. While women have a lot more choice these days, thanks to birth control and changing attitudes, the default assumption is that women who get married do so because they want kids. Women are still expected to have babies, and those of us who don't want to are seen as selfish, broken, or worse. We are still cajoled and pressured to become mothers, and sadly, some women do bow to that pressure, even if they don't want to. Some women aren't even given the choice at all. So no, I don't think the issue is resolved.
I am married, and we are childless by choice. But that doesn't stop people from trying to pressure us into having kids. (Actually, John doesn't get a lot of pressure in that regard, because it's more acceptable for men not to want to become fathers than it is for women not to want to become mothers.) I have ranted about this on LiveJournal before. About a year ago, a friend of mine posted a follow-up article to something she read in MacLean's Magazine. I sent her a comment with my thoughts, which she encouraged me to develop into an article to submit to the publication she writes for. My follow-up was ultimately rejected, but I held on to it with the intention of posting it here eventually.
I have included the links to the original articles. Both are still available to read on-line, if you're interested. But let's keep the comments here, please. Both of these articles are almost a year old. (And don't read the comments over at MacLean's, I beseech you. They are poison.)
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